Oh, to fall ill in peace

Some years ago an ex-colleague asked me what I missed most about life before children. I had just been through a harrowing week of nursing two kids with the flu and was feeling pretty poorly myself. After thinking a bit I responded, "I miss the luxury of falling ill in peace"!

He must have thought I'd turned into a total crackpot. I know that at first this sounds completely outrageous. But think about it. When you're a mom, you're never off duty. I mean, NEVER. Not even when you're sick as a dog. There's just no scope for quiet R&R.

Visits to the paediatrician are frighteningly regular for the first three years of a child's life. Kids seem to catch a bug just by looking at an ill child. And when you're looking after them all day and night, you're bound to catch it too at least 50 percent of the time. Predictably, it's all about getting the kids better. Though my husband helps out a lot, he just can't be around all the time. And when every bone, sinew and joint aches while you're calming your feverish baby, you wish you could just lock yourself away in a quiet room and lie down in total silence for a couple of hours. Unfortunately, that's one thing you just cannot do.

I used to miss other things that were part of my life before motherhood. A career, late nights out, drinking without a care, sleeping in on weekends, putting my interest first. But I traded those in for familial bliss and now their absence in my life hardly bothers me. But every time ill health comes calling, I miss the luxury of recuperating in peace. Aaah, to be able to lie in bed and take a few days to recover. Give the body a well-deserved break. Let the mind drift. Savour the khichdi and chicken broth. Do nothing. Nothing at all.

But now life can't be put on hold despite illness. There are mouths to feed, lunches to pack, school runs to make, rooms to tidy, clothes to wash, homework to supervise, TV viewing to regulate, fights to break up, arguments to conclude. It's hard enough doing all that without having a runny nose, leaden head, breaking back, cramping uterus and wobbly legs. So imagine what it's like with all that, and more.