Hindi-Chini, more alike than we think

We've moved into a predominantly Chinese neighbourhood on the eastern fringes of Toronto. You'll see a few brown or white faces on our street, but most residents are Chinese. And the more I observe them the more it strikes me that the middle class Chinese person is so very similar to the middle class Indian.

This morning I was watering the lawn in our backyard. Now ours is a corner lot and the street side hasn't been fenced, which means we have little privacy in the outdoors. So while I was in the garden, one of our Chinese neighbours from across the street walked up to say hello for the first time. "So you bought this house?" he asked. No, I said, we're tenants. His eyebrows went up a bit. "Very good tenants," he said, pointing at the hose pipe and then rotating his finger to cover the general spread of the lawn. Because we have a corner plot, we have one of the largest patches of grass in the area.

So similarity number one - if you're a tenant, you aren't really expected to take an interest in the appearance and upkeep of the property.

"How much you pay?" came the next question. I was a little taken aback. I haven't heard that one hurled at me quite so casually for a few months now. And I have never been comfortable with questions of this nature - how much rent do you pay; how much did you buy the house for; how much do you earn etc. I was instantly transported back home. Anyway, I mumbled a ballpark number which seemed to impress him.

So similarity number two - you can be asked the most intrusive and personal questions in the most casual manner. And you're expected to answer, pal.

It wasn't over yet. "For whole house?" he asked. I nodded. "You sublet?" he pressed on. Now I have heard this is fairly common practice among Asians in this part of the world. One couple or family rents a home and then two or three other families move in as well, splitting the rent. The property, naturally, goes to seed pretty quickly. Despite being aware of this, the question threw me a bit. And I was a little offended. But I managed to shake my head to convey that that wasn't going to happen.

Similarity number three - (and we faced this more in Mumbai than in Delhi) just four people living in a big house is considered a waste of space and money. I remember when we bought our four-bedroom apartment in Thane, many asked us if our parents would be moving in. When we said no I could see their brains trying to comprehend why these strange people need such a big home for a small family.

A couple of weeks ago a white lady from across the street asked me if we were home in the afternoon. We'd been out at the time she was speaking of. I asked why. She said she had seen three of four Chinese men walk right up to our kitchen and living room windows. press their noses to the glass and peer in. I had forgotten to close the blinds. "You definitely need a fence," my white neighbour said. I agree. The fence will hopefully be up within the next fortnight and we'll get a shield against prying eyes.

Similarity number four among the Hindi and Chini - curiosity about how others live will often get the better of you. My parents back home once had visitors going into the bedrooms and opening up closets!