Crime isn't for everyone

Quite like Jay Leno, I love hearing stories about stupid criminals. And this one is just the tops. We heard it at a friend's last night. This friend's absent-minded brother-in-law left his wallet in the car, which he'd just parked at a shopping mall in Gurgaon. He'd also forgotten to roll the window up. So the family was walking away from the car when the brother-in-law suddenly realised he was missing his wallet. He turned back just in time to see this young man reach into the car and pocket the prize.

The 'robbee' followed the robber into the mall, caught up with him and challenged him. The young scoundrel couldn't deny he'd done the crime. There was much excitement. The brother-in-law decided to take the thief to the cops. The rest of his family returned home. After waiting for a while, our friend decided to go to the police station to give his brother-in-law moral support. There he found the thief, naturally, begging for mercy and the brother-in-law a little confused about what to do. He wanted to press charges, but that would mean doing without his wallet and its contents for a while because they'd be held in evidence.

So there's the thief (who had called his mother in to plead his case) begging to be let off without charges and his victim keen to get his wallet back so his life wouldn't be disrupted. The young robber's melodramatic mother poured her heart out, saying her grown son was a complete no-good who couldn't keep down a job. "He's such an idiot that he can't even pull off a theft!" she wailed.

Finally the friend's brother-in-law decided against pressing charges, took his wallet back and was about drive off when the thief's mother came up to him and politely asked for a ride home! The intended victim agreed and followed her directions to the house. Our friend and his brother-in-law's jaws dropped when they saw the wannabe robber lived in a plush bungalow.

Incidentally, the only ones who gained anything from the entire fiasco were the cops. They managed to get a cut from the thief for letting him off and from the victim for the return of his wallet!

This reminded me of another story I'd heard long ago about someone's house being robbed. The burglar broke in in the dead of night, carrying a sack to cart off the booty. The homeowner was a wealthy man so there were lots of valuables for the robber to choose from. He went around the lower floor of the house, transferring the best stuff into his sack. Then suddenly he stood before the best-stocked bar he had ever seen. So he picked up a few bottles and put them in his sack. Then he decided to help himself to one for the road. I suppose one drink led to another. After all, he was sampling some of the world's finest Scotch and single malts. The thief should have known greed would be his undoing. The homeowner's family found him passed out near the bar in the morning!

Crime, clearly, isn't for everyone. It certainly doesn't pay if you're an idiot!

(Please share any stories you may have heard about stupid criminals)