It was horrific hearing and reading about the fire at an office building in Bengaluru (Bangalore) yesterday that claimed at least nine lives. But what was even more disturbing was finding out that five of those fatalities were people who jumped out of the inferno in the hope of escaping the flames and fumes.
Some newspaper reports claimed firemen encouraged the jumpers to take the leap after having hurriedly spread out some nets and padded them with clothes and mats. The padding was not nearly enough. Each one of the people who jumped died within seconds of taking that big leap of faith.
I am aware that rescuers at times ask people to jump out of burning buildings, but they are generally better prepared to catch the victims and save their lives. What happened in Bangalore's seven-storey Carlton Towers last evening was just appalling. If those people had hung on, they'd probably have had at least a slim chance of surviving.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
3 Idiots lead the way to sanity
Rarely does a Hindi film come along and change the way people think. But Aamir Khan and Raju Hirani's 3 Idiots seems to have pulled it off. It has made a difference in the thinking and priorities of simple, middle class families that relentlessly pressure their kids on academics. This blog isn't based on hearsay. It's based on conversations I have had with other mothers of school-going children.
One lady, whose older daughter is now just a month away from the high-pressure 10th standard board exam, said her husband had made her back off from forcing their first-born into any academic stream after watching the film. Post-3 Idiots he apparently advocated that the daughter be allowed to do what she chooses and be happy.
A friend of mine in Powai said she'd heard something very similar from a mother in her kids' school. After watching the blockbuster movie this mother had backed off, stopped pushing her son on the academic front and also cut down on micro-managing his life.
3 Idiots is a laugh riot (I loved it). But the subliminal message - let kids and youngsters be; don't sacrifice their happiness on the altar of success - behind the jokes seems to be penetrating the middle class consciousness. The film harshly brings out just how heavy a toll academic pressure can take on some - one suicide and an attempted suicide by students at an engineering college. The book on which the film is loosely based, Chetan Bhagat's Five Point Someone, somehow doesn't manage to communicate the message as effectively.
No matter who the messenger, I'm just glad the message is finally getting across to some people. Indians as a people can be extremely demanding of their children. The cut-throat competition and unrelenting pressure in academics has led thousands of kids to take their own lives in the past few years, choosing death over humiliation from a poor result. A drastic change in mentality urgently needed. Kudos to 3 Idiots and all those behind it for nudging Indians in the right direction.
One lady, whose older daughter is now just a month away from the high-pressure 10th standard board exam, said her husband had made her back off from forcing their first-born into any academic stream after watching the film. Post-3 Idiots he apparently advocated that the daughter be allowed to do what she chooses and be happy.
A friend of mine in Powai said she'd heard something very similar from a mother in her kids' school. After watching the blockbuster movie this mother had backed off, stopped pushing her son on the academic front and also cut down on micro-managing his life.
3 Idiots is a laugh riot (I loved it). But the subliminal message - let kids and youngsters be; don't sacrifice their happiness on the altar of success - behind the jokes seems to be penetrating the middle class consciousness. The film harshly brings out just how heavy a toll academic pressure can take on some - one suicide and an attempted suicide by students at an engineering college. The book on which the film is loosely based, Chetan Bhagat's Five Point Someone, somehow doesn't manage to communicate the message as effectively.
No matter who the messenger, I'm just glad the message is finally getting across to some people. Indians as a people can be extremely demanding of their children. The cut-throat competition and unrelenting pressure in academics has led thousands of kids to take their own lives in the past few years, choosing death over humiliation from a poor result. A drastic change in mentality urgently needed. Kudos to 3 Idiots and all those behind it for nudging Indians in the right direction.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Confessions of a compulsive decorator!
Here's my confession - I am secretly addicted to looking up design and decorating sites, constantly seeking tips to make my home better! I just can't help myself. It's chronic. The Better Homes and Gardens (BHG) website is my design bible and I check it every single week. I also regularly visit House Beautiful and Elle Decor.
Every time my husband walks in on me browsing through these sites, he gets extremely nervous. I can see an alarmed "now what does she want to do?" running through his head. But to be fair to myself, I must point out that I never go for any elaborate, expensive changes. Just little things here and there that end up making a big difference.
The addiction began when we were waiting for the builder to hand over our Thane apartment. It was a very long, agonising wait. I spent all those months planning, researching and dredging the Net for ideas. And I think my hubby will be the first to admit that it paid off. When we finally moved in a year ago, it was to a home that we absolutely adored. The little touches made a huge difference. I owe BHG a lot. It showed me ways to make the ceilings appear higher and, consequently, the rooms larger. My kitchen was more organised. The best idea was the installation of an appliance garage close to an electrical point. It keeps the appliances handy, yet out of sight. BHG also taught me how to control clutter and plan closets. I can't say I've conquered clutter for good (that's an almost impossible task with two growing kids in the house), but things are much better than they were a couple of years ago.
And even though my home is complete, I still visit these sites. I can't get enough of tips on the use of colour and textures; ways to make cool rooms feel warm and welcoming; tricks to make a tiny room appear larger. One never knows when one might need them, right? ;)
Every time my husband walks in on me browsing through these sites, he gets extremely nervous. I can see an alarmed "now what does she want to do?" running through his head. But to be fair to myself, I must point out that I never go for any elaborate, expensive changes. Just little things here and there that end up making a big difference.
The addiction began when we were waiting for the builder to hand over our Thane apartment. It was a very long, agonising wait. I spent all those months planning, researching and dredging the Net for ideas. And I think my hubby will be the first to admit that it paid off. When we finally moved in a year ago, it was to a home that we absolutely adored. The little touches made a huge difference. I owe BHG a lot. It showed me ways to make the ceilings appear higher and, consequently, the rooms larger. My kitchen was more organised. The best idea was the installation of an appliance garage close to an electrical point. It keeps the appliances handy, yet out of sight. BHG also taught me how to control clutter and plan closets. I can't say I've conquered clutter for good (that's an almost impossible task with two growing kids in the house), but things are much better than they were a couple of years ago.
And even though my home is complete, I still visit these sites. I can't get enough of tips on the use of colour and textures; ways to make cool rooms feel warm and welcoming; tricks to make a tiny room appear larger. One never knows when one might need them, right? ;)
Friday, February 12, 2010
Orchestrated?
This might make me the newest conspiracy theorist on the block, but something about the timing of the entire Shah Rukh Khan-Shiv Sena brouhaha leaves me deeply suspicious.
On the off chance the Shiv Sena wasn't in on the conspiracy (and deep down I don't believe that is the case), it has played right into a crafty Khan's hands by raising a stink over his willingness to include Pakistani players in his floundering cricket squad. All the resultant jingoistic chest-thumping from either side might just turn out to be the biggest boon for the actor's just-released My Name is Khan. It's been better publicity than Khan or Dharma Production's millions could ever buy. Suddenly SRK has been virtually elevated to sainthood and is being celebrated as patriotism's newest mascot.
By rising to the bait and pledging to disrupt the film's screening, the Shiv Sena has made millions overly keen to watch My Name is Khan. While those millions surely have a huge number of die-hard SRK fans, I'm sure they also include people who would otherwise probably have given the film a miss.
Now why would a political party do that? What has it gained except bad press? The Shiv Sena seems to be fast losing relevance in the political arena. It seems now to be concentrating on screaming itself hoarse over some regionally chauvinistic cause or the other, generally giving the PR advantage to the opposing side. It must be gaining from this somehow. Why else would it do this so consistently? What's in it for the party? Bears thinking, doesn't it?
On the off chance the Shiv Sena wasn't in on the conspiracy (and deep down I don't believe that is the case), it has played right into a crafty Khan's hands by raising a stink over his willingness to include Pakistani players in his floundering cricket squad. All the resultant jingoistic chest-thumping from either side might just turn out to be the biggest boon for the actor's just-released My Name is Khan. It's been better publicity than Khan or Dharma Production's millions could ever buy. Suddenly SRK has been virtually elevated to sainthood and is being celebrated as patriotism's newest mascot.
By rising to the bait and pledging to disrupt the film's screening, the Shiv Sena has made millions overly keen to watch My Name is Khan. While those millions surely have a huge number of die-hard SRK fans, I'm sure they also include people who would otherwise probably have given the film a miss.
Now why would a political party do that? What has it gained except bad press? The Shiv Sena seems to be fast losing relevance in the political arena. It seems now to be concentrating on screaming itself hoarse over some regionally chauvinistic cause or the other, generally giving the PR advantage to the opposing side. It must be gaining from this somehow. Why else would it do this so consistently? What's in it for the party? Bears thinking, doesn't it?
Friday, February 5, 2010
Yeah, silence that annoying ring
I felt like doing a little jig this morning when my bleary eyes spotted a front page news brief saying the Maharashtra government was thinking of slapping an entertainment tax on downloaded mobile phone ring tones and caller tunes. I hope it's steep enough to pinch. Maybe that'll silence the excessively annoying and shrill blares of music that regularly penetrate the air in public places and even at private events.
I suspect I'm in a very, very small minority here, but I just can't stand it when musical ringtones keep interrupting conversations at lunches and dinners. Somehow it doesn't bother me as much if it sounds like a good old-fashined telephone ring. I mean here I am having a fairly impassioned argument about politics or whatever when suddenly my senses are mercilessly assaulted by a few bars of "Livin Da Vida Loca" or "Roop Tera Mastana" or "Majua Mauja".
The most bizarre ringtone I ever heard almost had me leap out of my skin. I was riding the elevator up to my apartment and the only other person with me was a man in his 30s. Suddenly I heard a child's shrill voice scream, "Papa, papa, mummy ka phone hai; Papa, papa, mummy ka phone hai; Papa, papa mummy ka phone hai"! For the first couple of seconds I couldn't figure out where the child's voice was coming from. And when I did, I was praying for it to stop screeching because my head was pounding. Unfortunately the father made a complete hash of his first attempt to answer the phone. (I don't think he was too happy about being shaken to his very core every time the wife called. His trembling fingers hit all the wrong buttons). So it happened all over again. All this took place in a matter of half a minute, but it seemed like the longest, most agonising half a minute of my entire life!
I'm not sure the proposed tax would cover wierd personalised ring tones like that one, but even if it manages to silence a few, I'll be thankful.
I suspect I'm in a very, very small minority here, but I just can't stand it when musical ringtones keep interrupting conversations at lunches and dinners. Somehow it doesn't bother me as much if it sounds like a good old-fashined telephone ring. I mean here I am having a fairly impassioned argument about politics or whatever when suddenly my senses are mercilessly assaulted by a few bars of "Livin Da Vida Loca" or "Roop Tera Mastana" or "Majua Mauja".
The most bizarre ringtone I ever heard almost had me leap out of my skin. I was riding the elevator up to my apartment and the only other person with me was a man in his 30s. Suddenly I heard a child's shrill voice scream, "Papa, papa, mummy ka phone hai; Papa, papa, mummy ka phone hai; Papa, papa mummy ka phone hai"! For the first couple of seconds I couldn't figure out where the child's voice was coming from. And when I did, I was praying for it to stop screeching because my head was pounding. Unfortunately the father made a complete hash of his first attempt to answer the phone. (I don't think he was too happy about being shaken to his very core every time the wife called. His trembling fingers hit all the wrong buttons). So it happened all over again. All this took place in a matter of half a minute, but it seemed like the longest, most agonising half a minute of my entire life!
I'm not sure the proposed tax would cover wierd personalised ring tones like that one, but even if it manages to silence a few, I'll be thankful.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Hot air over melting glaciers
Glaciers the world over are melting. That's the one incontrovertible truth. Some say they are melting abnormally fast. Others call this claim alarmist and say the pace of disintegration is actually a lot slower.
The last few days' very public row over the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Control's (IPCC's) projection that the mighty Himalayan glaciers would melt away by 2035 strikes me as a little unnecessary. Now personal attacks are being made to discredit the panel's Indian head, Dr. Rajendra Pachauri. The controversy - following an IPCC admission that its forecast of doom wasn't actually based on solid research or scientific study - has certainly dented the international panel's credibility.
But my question is, what does it matter? We've been told - and I believe this is beyond question - that the glaciers are melting faster than they should. Whether it is at a rate judged too fast, or even faster, what's clear is that the world has to attempt to arrest the liquefaction because the result could be catastrophic for our entire planet (sea levels would rise and swallow large tracts of low-lying land, the planet would soak up more heat with less ice to bounce sunlight back etc.). So let's get down to finding a solution instead of bickering and arguing over the melt rate. No need for all this hot air over ice. It runs the risk of accelerating the pace of the meltdown!
The last few days' very public row over the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Control's (IPCC's) projection that the mighty Himalayan glaciers would melt away by 2035 strikes me as a little unnecessary. Now personal attacks are being made to discredit the panel's Indian head, Dr. Rajendra Pachauri. The controversy - following an IPCC admission that its forecast of doom wasn't actually based on solid research or scientific study - has certainly dented the international panel's credibility.
But my question is, what does it matter? We've been told - and I believe this is beyond question - that the glaciers are melting faster than they should. Whether it is at a rate judged too fast, or even faster, what's clear is that the world has to attempt to arrest the liquefaction because the result could be catastrophic for our entire planet (sea levels would rise and swallow large tracts of low-lying land, the planet would soak up more heat with less ice to bounce sunlight back etc.). So let's get down to finding a solution instead of bickering and arguing over the melt rate. No need for all this hot air over ice. It runs the risk of accelerating the pace of the meltdown!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Pushed to the brink
It's been truly scary reading over the past week about a spate of suicides in and around Mumbai. Most of them were young adults, some little children. The count, I believe, now stands at 14 in a span of seven days. Academic pressures, unhappy family situations and unfulfilled aspirations led these children to end their lives.
Being on the other side of the divide as a parent, it got me thinking about motivation and pressure. Where do you draw the line? We all know that the Indian schooling system is cruelly demanding. The kids are pushed to perform in school and that inevitably transfers to the home, prompting parents to at times make unrealistic demands of their children. Any child who doesn't fit into the mould of the ideal pupil suffers. The system isn't flexible enough to handle children whose interests may lie in other areas, whose strengths are not necessarily in the stuff included in the curriculum. They aren't encouraged to hone their natural abilites, instead are forced to submit to the norm. And this can be fatal for a child's morale.
So how far is it safe to nudge a child? When do motivation and encouragement turn into unhealthy pressure? When does it become unbearable? Why do parents lose perspective? At what point do the marksheet and college prospects become more important than the child's happiness? How do you know for sure whether your child isn't trying hard enough or is genuinely unable to cope? Why don't parents make it a habit of talking to their children so it never reaches the point where communication is so broken down that they can't even sense their child might be dangerously depressed?
Those questions are relevant when it comes to academic pressure. But what left me baffled and terrified was the suicide by an 11-year-old girl who had participated in three reality TV dance shows. Neha's parents had apparently pulled her out of the dance academy she used to attend because they thought enough was enough and it was time she got back to focusing on her studies. These are parents who had allowed their child to follow her dreams. It was just a drastic reaction by their daughter to finally hearing a "No" from her parents.
But that "No" becomes essential at some point. Any parent knows that saying "No" takes a lot more strength than capitulating to your child's demands.
My kids read the newspapers and must have noticed this report. I have to make sure they understand that what Neha did was silly, that she unnecessarily cut short a life that could have been full of joy and success.
I suppose it's easy to say these things when it hasn't happened to you. Easy to sit in judgement. I can't imagine what the parents of the children who ended their lives are going through. They will probably carry a crushing burden of guilt for the remainder of their time. A few days ago they wouldn't have imagined such a thing could happen to them, as we can't now. But it does happen. And, as parents, it is our responsibility to learn to recognise the signs. Learn to take a step back and reassess priorities when our children seem to be floundering. Keep communicating with our kids. It isn't a one-time lesson. It has to be learnt and practised over and over again. I hope I never forget this.
Being on the other side of the divide as a parent, it got me thinking about motivation and pressure. Where do you draw the line? We all know that the Indian schooling system is cruelly demanding. The kids are pushed to perform in school and that inevitably transfers to the home, prompting parents to at times make unrealistic demands of their children. Any child who doesn't fit into the mould of the ideal pupil suffers. The system isn't flexible enough to handle children whose interests may lie in other areas, whose strengths are not necessarily in the stuff included in the curriculum. They aren't encouraged to hone their natural abilites, instead are forced to submit to the norm. And this can be fatal for a child's morale.
So how far is it safe to nudge a child? When do motivation and encouragement turn into unhealthy pressure? When does it become unbearable? Why do parents lose perspective? At what point do the marksheet and college prospects become more important than the child's happiness? How do you know for sure whether your child isn't trying hard enough or is genuinely unable to cope? Why don't parents make it a habit of talking to their children so it never reaches the point where communication is so broken down that they can't even sense their child might be dangerously depressed?
Those questions are relevant when it comes to academic pressure. But what left me baffled and terrified was the suicide by an 11-year-old girl who had participated in three reality TV dance shows. Neha's parents had apparently pulled her out of the dance academy she used to attend because they thought enough was enough and it was time she got back to focusing on her studies. These are parents who had allowed their child to follow her dreams. It was just a drastic reaction by their daughter to finally hearing a "No" from her parents.
But that "No" becomes essential at some point. Any parent knows that saying "No" takes a lot more strength than capitulating to your child's demands.
My kids read the newspapers and must have noticed this report. I have to make sure they understand that what Neha did was silly, that she unnecessarily cut short a life that could have been full of joy and success.
I suppose it's easy to say these things when it hasn't happened to you. Easy to sit in judgement. I can't imagine what the parents of the children who ended their lives are going through. They will probably carry a crushing burden of guilt for the remainder of their time. A few days ago they wouldn't have imagined such a thing could happen to them, as we can't now. But it does happen. And, as parents, it is our responsibility to learn to recognise the signs. Learn to take a step back and reassess priorities when our children seem to be floundering. Keep communicating with our kids. It isn't a one-time lesson. It has to be learnt and practised over and over again. I hope I never forget this.
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