Among the hardiest creatures to crawl the Earth, the humble cockroach can survive adversities most other species can't. Maybe that's why it has become the latest weapon in the arsenal of a political group that is all but dying out across the world. At least, that is, if the Indian Marxists' ace opponent is to be believed.
Indian Railways Minister Mamata Banerjee has reportedly accused the Communist Party of India (Marxist) of sneaking cockroaches into meals served on trains in the hope of denting the image of the mammoth state-run railroad and her credibility.
"They have been planning sabotage. They are trying to ruin (the reputation of) the Railways by letting cockroaches into food," The Times of India quoted the notoriously melodramatic Banerjee as saying during an address to her Trinamool Congress party in Kolkata. She also accused the Marxists of engineering a train accident last week that claimed nearly 70 lives.
Cockroaches? How much more ridiculous can Indian political discourse get? Mamata di seems to have hit an all-time high note of absurdity. Get serious people.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Census idiocy
I've spent the past seven years fooling myself into believing I've made the righteous choice by giving up my career and choosing to stay home for the kids. I even gave up dabbling in freelance writing because it was interfering with my family's happiness and taking time away from my children. I felt I was doing the right thing by focusing on home and hearth. What a fool I am. Not until this evening did I realise that my contribution to my country was as worthless as that of a convict, a bum or a whore. But wait. Don't those people make some money? So I guess we homemakers are even less productive and consequential to our great nation.
India's decennial census reportedly clubs housewives with non-productive groups like beggars, prisoners and prostitutes. I'm not judging these other groups of people. My objection is to homemakers being labeled non-productive. Just how much more chauvinistic and blinkered can our vaunted mandarins get?
A former colleague told me today that a research group had assessed housewives' worth to the nation some two decades ago and come up with the figure of 10,000 crore rupees. I agree with his view that it was an extremely conservative estimate. But even if you keep to the conservative scale, how much do you think our contribution is worth now?
I understand it's hard to put a price on the things a housewife does. But let's break it down to basics. Add up the incomes of a caregiver for children, a cook, a cleaner, a nurse, a housekeeper. That's something, isn't it? Please take into consideration that we're on call 24 hours a day, seven days a week and 365 days a year. That necessitates higher remuneration. Then compensate those of us who have given up jobs for the voluntary early retirement from the workforce. There are many other intangibles, but even if we leave those out the sum can't be small.
So what the heck are these idiots at the Census department talking about? Thankfully the Supreme Court has stepped in and I hope the judges will give these morons a well-deserved kick in the pants. But the very fact that there is a group of people who think this was is extremely disheartening. If they're right and we're of no consequence, let's strike work my sisters. Bet your ass they'll notice our worth and productivity very quickly then.
India's decennial census reportedly clubs housewives with non-productive groups like beggars, prisoners and prostitutes. I'm not judging these other groups of people. My objection is to homemakers being labeled non-productive. Just how much more chauvinistic and blinkered can our vaunted mandarins get?
A former colleague told me today that a research group had assessed housewives' worth to the nation some two decades ago and come up with the figure of 10,000 crore rupees. I agree with his view that it was an extremely conservative estimate. But even if you keep to the conservative scale, how much do you think our contribution is worth now?
I understand it's hard to put a price on the things a housewife does. But let's break it down to basics. Add up the incomes of a caregiver for children, a cook, a cleaner, a nurse, a housekeeper. That's something, isn't it? Please take into consideration that we're on call 24 hours a day, seven days a week and 365 days a year. That necessitates higher remuneration. Then compensate those of us who have given up jobs for the voluntary early retirement from the workforce. There are many other intangibles, but even if we leave those out the sum can't be small.
So what the heck are these idiots at the Census department talking about? Thankfully the Supreme Court has stepped in and I hope the judges will give these morons a well-deserved kick in the pants. But the very fact that there is a group of people who think this was is extremely disheartening. If they're right and we're of no consequence, let's strike work my sisters. Bet your ass they'll notice our worth and productivity very quickly then.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Settling in my simple, upside down new world
After two months of upheaval, my life is finally falling into a familiar and comforting routine. Having moved into the rental, found a place for everything and put everything in its place, we can finally begin to explore and enjoy the city we now call home.
I've found that life in the West is very uncomplicated. That is, of course, if you are willing to put in some hard labour and not whine and complain about all the work that needs to be done around the house. If you keep on top of the chores, there's enough time to relax and unwind. Besides, you're not tense about whether or not help will show up. You're not losing your sanity trying to keep the peace between your driver, maid, cook, gardener and car cleaner. You know you'll get hot water when you turn the tap to the left. You know the light will come on when you flip the switch. You're not left guessing when the gas cylinder will show up at your door. Things are simple that way.
They're also upside down or (to me) the wrong way around. Literally. And that takes some getting used to. Keys go into locks upside down here. Light switches and electrical sockets are all upside down. Some taps move in the opposite direction to the way we've been used to turning them. And because traffic moves on the right side of the road, you're expected to follow the pattern when you're walking. So you take the right escalator instead of the left or keep to the right side of the stairs. I still haven't managed to reorient my instincts of 36 years.
I've found that life in the West is very uncomplicated. That is, of course, if you are willing to put in some hard labour and not whine and complain about all the work that needs to be done around the house. If you keep on top of the chores, there's enough time to relax and unwind. Besides, you're not tense about whether or not help will show up. You're not losing your sanity trying to keep the peace between your driver, maid, cook, gardener and car cleaner. You know you'll get hot water when you turn the tap to the left. You know the light will come on when you flip the switch. You're not left guessing when the gas cylinder will show up at your door. Things are simple that way.
They're also upside down or (to me) the wrong way around. Literally. And that takes some getting used to. Keys go into locks upside down here. Light switches and electrical sockets are all upside down. Some taps move in the opposite direction to the way we've been used to turning them. And because traffic moves on the right side of the road, you're expected to follow the pattern when you're walking. So you take the right escalator instead of the left or keep to the right side of the stairs. I still haven't managed to reorient my instincts of 36 years.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Whose bad?
Users of correct English will quite naturally assume I've made a grammatical mistake in the heading. Isn't that supposed to be "Who's bad?". Haven't I mistakenly used a possessive where I should have used the contraction of "who is"? Not in today's world apparently. This is the age of "my bad", "your bad", "his bad", "her bad" and "their bad". The "bad" in those sentences - if you can call them that - means mistake. Every time I hear these expressions, I get very distressed. I don't know why that should be, but I invariably do.
The first time I came across the term was while watching an American programme on television. It took me a while to understand what was said. Now the usage has become quite common, so much so that these expressions are commonly heard even in children's television. So it was just a matter of time before my older son, whose brain is like a sponge, picked it up and used "my bad" after doing something wrong. My insides churned in revulsion when I heard that coming out of his mouth. I explained to him patiently that wasn't the correct way to say what he was trying to. But I really wanted to scream "Nooooooooooooooooo"!
I also get inexplicably peeved when someone mixes up "its" and "it's". I found out really early on that it's completely lost on them that the former is a possessive pronoun and the latter a contraction of "it is". They just don't get it. I also get peeved with the Indian tendency to generously scatter apostrophes around, but always in places they don't belong. Like when naming a family. "The Singh's came to visit", they'll write, instead of "the Singhs came to visit". Why? Why can't they understand that the former denotes possession, for instance "this is Mr. Singh's son"? And if you want to denote possession for the entire family, it'll be Singhs'. For instance, "This is the Singhs' home" and not "this is the Singh's home".
Knowing about this deep aversion I have to poor punctuation, a friend of mine gifted me a wonderful book called Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss. The title is derived from a joke that amply demonstrates how a misplaced punctuation mark can at times completely change the meaning. Here's the joke from the book:
A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons. 'Why?' asks the confused surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes for the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder. 'Well, I'm a panda,' he says, at the door. 'Look it up.' The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation. 'Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.' Get it? The addition of a comma in the final sentence makes all the difference. 'Eats shoots and leaves' would have meant something entirely different, wouldn't it?
Anyway, I'm digressing. The point is language - and not just English - is evolving in a not altogether nice way. The result is an exponentially larger proportion of each successive generation is less articulate. More and more kids and young adults find it hard to verbally convey their thoughts and feelings. I'd hoped the "like,.....like,....you know" syndrome would die out with the coming of age of my generation, but that hasn't happened. People young and middle-aged still suffer from it. If video killed the radio star four decades ago, text messaging is killing language and spelling today. The abbreviations and contractions used in text messaging are alarmingly spilling over into other domains. I am one of very few people I know who doesn't ruthlessly abbreviate every word in a text message.
I suppose in a world that's perpetually in a hurry, "my bad" is more economical on effort and time than saying "sorry, that was my mistake". But I'm not ready for a world like that. I don't think I will ever be. And that's not "my bad".
The first time I came across the term was while watching an American programme on television. It took me a while to understand what was said. Now the usage has become quite common, so much so that these expressions are commonly heard even in children's television. So it was just a matter of time before my older son, whose brain is like a sponge, picked it up and used "my bad" after doing something wrong. My insides churned in revulsion when I heard that coming out of his mouth. I explained to him patiently that wasn't the correct way to say what he was trying to. But I really wanted to scream "Nooooooooooooooooo"!
I also get inexplicably peeved when someone mixes up "its" and "it's". I found out really early on that it's completely lost on them that the former is a possessive pronoun and the latter a contraction of "it is". They just don't get it. I also get peeved with the Indian tendency to generously scatter apostrophes around, but always in places they don't belong. Like when naming a family. "The Singh's came to visit", they'll write, instead of "the Singhs came to visit". Why? Why can't they understand that the former denotes possession, for instance "this is Mr. Singh's son"? And if you want to denote possession for the entire family, it'll be Singhs'. For instance, "This is the Singhs' home" and not "this is the Singh's home".
Knowing about this deep aversion I have to poor punctuation, a friend of mine gifted me a wonderful book called Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss. The title is derived from a joke that amply demonstrates how a misplaced punctuation mark can at times completely change the meaning. Here's the joke from the book:
A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons. 'Why?' asks the confused surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes for the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder. 'Well, I'm a panda,' he says, at the door. 'Look it up.' The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation. 'Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.' Get it? The addition of a comma in the final sentence makes all the difference. 'Eats shoots and leaves' would have meant something entirely different, wouldn't it?
Anyway, I'm digressing. The point is language - and not just English - is evolving in a not altogether nice way. The result is an exponentially larger proportion of each successive generation is less articulate. More and more kids and young adults find it hard to verbally convey their thoughts and feelings. I'd hoped the "like,.....like,....you know" syndrome would die out with the coming of age of my generation, but that hasn't happened. People young and middle-aged still suffer from it. If video killed the radio star four decades ago, text messaging is killing language and spelling today. The abbreviations and contractions used in text messaging are alarmingly spilling over into other domains. I am one of very few people I know who doesn't ruthlessly abbreviate every word in a text message.
I suppose in a world that's perpetually in a hurry, "my bad" is more economical on effort and time than saying "sorry, that was my mistake". But I'm not ready for a world like that. I don't think I will ever be. And that's not "my bad".
Monday, June 14, 2010
Subway parody
My kids love riding the Toronto subway. And the whole time they're on the tube they keep coming up with explanations of or puns on station names, especially my little one. This afternoon we travelled on the subway from Finch to Yorkdale, which is one of the longest circuits you can do on the network. And so it began again.
Finch feels a pinch. Sheppard has a lot of farmers living there. Rosedale has a big flower garden. Eglinton sells eggs. The station after College should be named School. People in Dundas have a lot of sticks (play on the Hindi word danda for stick). King and Queen are where the palaces are. Union is where you can smell onions!! The opposite of Osgoode is os-bad. St. Patrick always provokes peals of laughter. "They should also have stations called St. Spongebob and St. Squidward" (from the Spongebob animation series). That last one is always from the older one.
On the other lines you have Dufferin, which must be full of duffers. Bathurst is where people keep bathing and feeling thirsty. Broadview is where you get to see a long way around. People in Chester have big chests. Greenwood has green trees. And Coxwell is full of roosters.
Finch feels a pinch. Sheppard has a lot of farmers living there. Rosedale has a big flower garden. Eglinton sells eggs. The station after College should be named School. People in Dundas have a lot of sticks (play on the Hindi word danda for stick). King and Queen are where the palaces are. Union is where you can smell onions!! The opposite of Osgoode is os-bad. St. Patrick always provokes peals of laughter. "They should also have stations called St. Spongebob and St. Squidward" (from the Spongebob animation series). That last one is always from the older one.
On the other lines you have Dufferin, which must be full of duffers. Bathurst is where people keep bathing and feeling thirsty. Broadview is where you get to see a long way around. People in Chester have big chests. Greenwood has green trees. And Coxwell is full of roosters.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Is this news?
One of the newspaper headlines highlighted on a major Indian news portal on Sunday states "US says India destined to be a nation of global influence". Now my question is what makes this headline news? Haven't we heard such platitudes enough times? Do we need to keep flashing these in a vain attempt to massage our national ego even though we know our country hasn't really gained in influence or earned much leverage over other nations in the past few years? Why do we need these patronising pats on the head from the superpower? To me it's disgraceful that we feel these comments significant enough to flash as a headline. And the fact that such articles continue to appear is also proof of the lack of initiative and imagination in Indian journalism today. Actually it reads like something regurgitated from a press handout.
Just a few days ago we were speaking to an Indian friend who has been living in Canada for the past few years. He was telling us about how angry the Indian community here was after the terror attacks on Mumbai in 2008. He said Indians here couldn't understand why New Delhi didn't use its influence to aggressively pursue those responsible for the strikes. I asked him what influence he was talking about. That's when it became clear that we Indians seem to credit our nation with more leverage than it actually enjoys on the world stage. Other nations might hear us out patiently, but it's clear that they don't take us seriously enough to do our bidding.
Anyway, news items such as the one I've referred to might make our foreign office mandarins feel they've accomplished something. But I don't think they're fooling thinking Indians into believing that their nation has actually gained in influence. If anything, such patronising remarks should make us feel slighted. After all, we've been hearing them for decades.
Just a few days ago we were speaking to an Indian friend who has been living in Canada for the past few years. He was telling us about how angry the Indian community here was after the terror attacks on Mumbai in 2008. He said Indians here couldn't understand why New Delhi didn't use its influence to aggressively pursue those responsible for the strikes. I asked him what influence he was talking about. That's when it became clear that we Indians seem to credit our nation with more leverage than it actually enjoys on the world stage. Other nations might hear us out patiently, but it's clear that they don't take us seriously enough to do our bidding.
Anyway, news items such as the one I've referred to might make our foreign office mandarins feel they've accomplished something. But I don't think they're fooling thinking Indians into believing that their nation has actually gained in influence. If anything, such patronising remarks should make us feel slighted. After all, we've been hearing them for decades.
Monday, May 31, 2010
No refills please
So we're out to lunch at a restaurant called Swiss Chalet on Saturday. The server was happy enough with us at the start of the meal because we'd ordered what he felt was a fair amount of mains and sides. The first round of incredulity hit when I declined his offer of a refill for my lemonade. "But it's free!" he said. I know, I replied, but thanks anyway. He stood there gaping at me for a few seconds and then dashed off in the direction of the kitchen. Out he came a couple of minutes later bearing a huge glass of water with slices of lemon and plonked it in front of me. Just in case you regret your decision of not ordering a refill, was the unspoken message.
When we were done, having, to our minds, eaten a little more than was necessary, we asked for the cheque. The server came running towards us looking extremely troubled. "But you haven't ordered desserts!" he exclaimed. We said we'd eaten too much already. He blinked rapidly for a seconds, looking from one to the next in our group. Then he walked off mumbling, "I'll give you Skittles and M&Ms anyway. They come with the meal." And the cheque didn't make an appearance until the candy packets were duly handed over.
In this land of bottomless drinks and huge portions, we new settlers with relatively smaller appetites seem quite a rarity. And this is just Canada, which by most accounts is slightly better than the US when it comes to portion size. We'd had a similar experience at a Red Lobster downtown the weekend before. The charming server there started laughing when we voiced a collective and vehement "No" to her offer of desserts. A Red Lobster main comes with a choice of not one, not two but three whole side dishes!! All of us chose not to have a third side. That had surprised our server a little, but she was more sophisticated than the man at the Swiss Chalet and didn't let her incredulity show on the face quite as plainly.
Last week on the local news I saw a report about what's being touted as the world's worst drink. It's a peanut butter and chocolate smoothie that carries a whopping 2000 calories per serving in the US and a much healthier 1700 calories in Canada! Can you imagine exceeding your entire daily calorie intake with one drink?!!!
Yesterday we went out for a Chinese lunch and Arvind and I ordered a small soup each. Our eyeballs nearly popped out when the soup arrived. The serving concept here is different. You order one soup and then share it with others at the table. Each small soup was enough for four people! So doing the meal justice was a struggle indeed.
Such lavish portions, to me, are a waste. There are other forms of excess one witnesses here. Canada is supposed to be one of the most environmentally conscious nations on earth, which is why the level of waste of electricity surprises me. The corridor our suite is in has in excess of 60 very powerful light bulbs on 24 hours a day. The space is just too brightly lit. They could easily put half the lights off and still have more than enough illumination. And this is just one corridor that doesn't even span the entire width of the building. It's a 26-storey structure with a twin that stands a couple of floors taller. Then there are other common areas that are equally brightly lit, not to mention the apartments themselves. Having just come from power-starved Gurgaon, this amount of waste of electricity is extremely troubling to me.
There's a lot one can learn from this nation in terms of caring for the environment and maintaining high standards of health and hygiene. But there is also a lot that Canada could learn from nations that have fewer resources at their disposal about plugging wastage. Turn a few lights out and don't serve quite so much food. You'll be surprised at how much energy and money can be saved.
When we were done, having, to our minds, eaten a little more than was necessary, we asked for the cheque. The server came running towards us looking extremely troubled. "But you haven't ordered desserts!" he exclaimed. We said we'd eaten too much already. He blinked rapidly for a seconds, looking from one to the next in our group. Then he walked off mumbling, "I'll give you Skittles and M&Ms anyway. They come with the meal." And the cheque didn't make an appearance until the candy packets were duly handed over.
In this land of bottomless drinks and huge portions, we new settlers with relatively smaller appetites seem quite a rarity. And this is just Canada, which by most accounts is slightly better than the US when it comes to portion size. We'd had a similar experience at a Red Lobster downtown the weekend before. The charming server there started laughing when we voiced a collective and vehement "No" to her offer of desserts. A Red Lobster main comes with a choice of not one, not two but three whole side dishes!! All of us chose not to have a third side. That had surprised our server a little, but she was more sophisticated than the man at the Swiss Chalet and didn't let her incredulity show on the face quite as plainly.
Last week on the local news I saw a report about what's being touted as the world's worst drink. It's a peanut butter and chocolate smoothie that carries a whopping 2000 calories per serving in the US and a much healthier 1700 calories in Canada! Can you imagine exceeding your entire daily calorie intake with one drink?!!!
Yesterday we went out for a Chinese lunch and Arvind and I ordered a small soup each. Our eyeballs nearly popped out when the soup arrived. The serving concept here is different. You order one soup and then share it with others at the table. Each small soup was enough for four people! So doing the meal justice was a struggle indeed.
Such lavish portions, to me, are a waste. There are other forms of excess one witnesses here. Canada is supposed to be one of the most environmentally conscious nations on earth, which is why the level of waste of electricity surprises me. The corridor our suite is in has in excess of 60 very powerful light bulbs on 24 hours a day. The space is just too brightly lit. They could easily put half the lights off and still have more than enough illumination. And this is just one corridor that doesn't even span the entire width of the building. It's a 26-storey structure with a twin that stands a couple of floors taller. Then there are other common areas that are equally brightly lit, not to mention the apartments themselves. Having just come from power-starved Gurgaon, this amount of waste of electricity is extremely troubling to me.
There's a lot one can learn from this nation in terms of caring for the environment and maintaining high standards of health and hygiene. But there is also a lot that Canada could learn from nations that have fewer resources at their disposal about plugging wastage. Turn a few lights out and don't serve quite so much food. You'll be surprised at how much energy and money can be saved.
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