No news, good news for a nation

Coming from a crowded, disparate, chaotic nation like India where there's always something sensational going on and whose broadsheets don't have enough column inches to accommodate all the screaming headlines, it is taking me the longest time to adjust to bland Canadian newspapers. I still open the paper every morning and wonder "where's the news?".

In the eight months I've been in this country, there has been little of consequence to report. The biggest story was the police excesses on demonstrators during the G-20 summit in Toronto last year. Before the summit there were daily reports on just how much money the government was spending on the affair. In the past week it's been all about the shocking death of a policeman mowed down by a crazed man who stole a snow plow. Once in a while you hear of some corruption scandal. Reports appear now and then about tragic Canadian casualties in Afghanistan. And there was the Toronto mayoral election in October. That's it - since May of 2010.

These were all on exceptional, heavy news days. On an average day, it's quite amusing to see what the front pages here are filled with. There are gripes in bold print about a likely hike of $20-30 in an annual utility bill. In the summer there were a slew of reports on how the city wasn't allowing people to make money off golfers parking in their driveways during a golf tournament at a course that couldn't accommodate too many cars. Once there was something about a woman getting into trouble with the city over widening her driveway. Transit issues, understandably, make frequent appearances. And then there's hockey.

Hardly any national politics from Ottawa makes its way into front pages in Toronto. The most frequent (and I use the term "frequent" loosely here) issue raised is Canadians' concern over Prime Minister Stephen Harper's foreign policies alienating the country further from the rest of the world.

For actual news, you have to turn to the world pages.

Things are the same with television news. One morning a livestock truck overturned on a ramp coming off a busy highway and spilled its load of pigs. There were long discussions on breakfast news programmes about the incident and the conversation then led to the psyche of pigs! The anchors discussed how the pigs would be too traumatised to be herded in a hurry into another truck that had arrived on the scene. Apart from weather and traffic, breaking news here is generally about crime - both petty and serious.

While it's all slightly amusing to the erstwhile journalist in me, it got me thinking that this lack of news is definitely very news good for Canada. It means there is no serious malaise plaguing the country. If you can go on for hours, even days, discussing a rare power outage, the country must be in fairly good shape. There is no strife being reported, so all the diverse communities that make up this nation must be getting along reasonably well. Reports of serious corruption aren't common, so people in public service must be doing their jobs fairly sincerely. There aren't daily gripes and protests about things affecting everyday life, so infrastructure and basic services must be fairly well organised.

Wouldn't it be great if Indian papers and TV news bulletins also became as bland some day? Wouldn't it feel good not to wake up to reports of another politician shamelessly abusing power, or one community attacking another over a trivial matter? Wouldn't it be nice to surmise from the absence of "news" that our country is, for the most part, functioning as it should - efficiently, honestly, peacefully?

Cherry and the blinding technicolour dreamcoats

As Indians we've grown up gossiping about Bappi Lahiri and his dazzling, if aesthetically challenged, wardrobe. If ever India could nominate someone for the popular television series What Not to Wear, Bappi da would probably top the list of possible candidates for the makeover show. I thought a man's wardrobe couldn't get much more shocking. Boy, was I wrong!

Thousands of miles away, halfway around the world, there is an iconic man who could potentially make Bappi da appear conservative in his sartorial choices. It's Canadian hockey legend Don Cherry, a commentator with big attitude and blinding blazers. The first time I saw him on television, Halloween was around the corner and I thought he'd worn his dazzling plaid jacket in the spirit of the outlandish season. Not quite, I was informed. He always dresses like that when appearing on the sports channels for hockey games.

I'm surprised Cherry's vision hasn't failed him after years of facing his blinding closet day after day. Among other gems he possesses is a plaid blazer in all the colours of the rainbow, and every hue in between. Plaid is clearly his favourite. He has plaid jackets in every colour imaginable. Cherry also loves going floral. The most memorable specimen from the floral collection are a white jacket with carnations all over, a blue one with daisies and another with gerbera. (You can see a few of them here - http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/multimedia/photo_gallery/0805/don.cherry.fashion.statements/content.1.html). On days when he chooses a fairly conservative suit or jacket, he embellishes with elaborate headgear.

Here's what inspired this blog post. I was watching a comedy show this afternoon when on came Bowser & Blue. Catch their act here - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOuO2S5MjyE&feature=BF&list=UL4Jn87NUmHl0&index=20

So the song got me curious about the man behind the bedazzling blazers. And while I was reading up, there was a big "awwwwww" moment. You will never catch Cherry without a rose on his lapel every time he's on air. I'd wondered about that. Apparently the floral tribute is to his wife Rose, who passed away in 1997.

Anyway, how do you think Cherry rates against Bappi da, or Austin Powers?